Welcome! I am a warm, caring informal and ‘fully qualified’ ex-Relate Couples Counsellor with 30yrs+ experience. My main specialism is all issues involving RELATIONSHIPS (including ABUSE). I also work with people living with a ‘STOMA’. I see COUPLES/SINGLES/FAMILY/CHILDREN of all sexual orientations. I am also a SEX Therapist and Accredited FAMILY MEDIATOR, offering a flexible ‘No Waiting’ policy. My service is professional, relaxed and confidential in a private setting – I derive great joy seeing people become happy again.
Swanland, East Yorkshire, HU14 (within 6 miles of Hull city centre)
Affairs, relationship breakdown, depression, anger, stress, anxiety, drinking, eating disorders etc can be symptoms of an underlying problem such as issues involving sex, past or childhood, or work issues etc which are not being dealt with. These symptoms are often a ‘flag’ used to draw attention to a problem. A way of saying HELP! All of which do not have to result in separation or divorce!!!
Sometimes people feel that they want to divorce when in actual fact they have other issues which are too difficult to deal with so they focus on something which they can control, like separation.
Things are not always as they seem – affairs for instance, need NOT mean the end, indeed, for some couples it is the beginning of a much deeper and more healthy relationship.
SERVICES AND THEORIES I AM ‘QUALIFIED’ TO OFFER.
- Couples, Singles, Children and Family counselling
- Psycho-Sexual Therapy
- Family Mediation
- Private tutoring for counselling students
- C.B.T, Person-Centred, Transactional Analysis, Psychodynamic and Systems Therapy.
Are you:
Wanting to speak to someone urgently and tired of being told you are on a waiting list which are sometimes double waiting lists and don’t want to wait for an appointment?
Need some support, coaching or guidance?
Relationship in trouble?
Shocking news?
Traumatised through eg: Rape, violence, anger, illness, accident or violence,
Childhood abuse that has finally come to the surface.
Feeling panicky, afraid, confused, angry, sad, devastated, worried, shocked, depressed, lost, lonely or just uneasy?
Gay and need help to ‘come out’.
Cannot sort out contact or residence for the children?
Want help to pass counselling assignments?
Not happy sexually?
Low self-esteem?
Then you have come to the right place!
COUPLE AND SINGLES COUNSELLING
Some issues I work with:
- Preparation for: Pre-co-habitation, pre-marital, pre-natal or pre-divorce.
- Reconciliation or separation
- Life skills
- Sexual problems – for couples or singles
- Rape or Sexual abuse (past or present) – is it affecting your relationship
- Violence
- Anger issues/management
- Physical abuse (past or present) – it could be affecting your relationship
- Affairs – they do not just happen, there is usually a reason
- Keeping your relationship going (you do have to work at it)
- Trying to keep everyone happy
- Should I go or should I stay?
- Will I cause damage to the kids?
- General guidance
- General or work-place guidance
- Parental guidance
- Divorce / Separation guidance
- Want to talk something through for clarity or make important decisions.
- Want help and guidance to decide the next move
- Explore past or current issues, or future events
- Need to resolve difference with someone – family member not getting on with another etc?
- Think your ‘going mad’ or maybe your partner has said that you are (Gaslighting)
- Not sure if you are still ‘in love’
- Feel stuck or trapped
- Don’t know how to break the news – particularly to children.
- S/He doesn’t want sex
- ‘He is only nice when he wants sex’
- We repeat the same old patterns
- Is change possible and will it last?
- Don’t want to repeat habits or patterns
Signs you have relationship problems
- questioning your love for each other
- communication breaks down
- sex has ended or causes problems
- arguments continue without resolution
- anger or violent eruptions
- nagging
- depression or other health problems recur
- the bond of trust is eroded or broken.
It is normal for relationships to suffer as the pressure and strains of everyday life occur. Love may disappear, replaced by resentment and anger. Each partner can view this differently depending on their own experience of family life. One may despair, while the other may view it as a temporary blip.
Where a couple has attached hastily – in response to a passion, pregnancy or other need, disappointments can surface and fester when the excitement subsides. Renegotiating, with a skilled counsellor, can help build a more realistic and deeper relationship.
Family Mediation
I am one of the few original non-solicitor family mediators who worked for the charity ‘Hull Family Mediation Service’ for 24 years. I now run a private practice and compete very strongly with the court’s ‘adversarial’ system.
- I am now retired from financial and house mediation but I still practice child Contact and Residency mediation.
- Couples who are separating or separated and want to improve their relationship with each other as parents.
- Family or any other disputes mediation
WHEN WOULD MEDIATION NOT WORK
- If it is too soon after your separation.
- If there has been any protection order placed.
- If there has been any violence or if you are afraid / feel intimidated by your ex.
- If there is a real power imbalance where you will feel manipulated by your ex.
- If either of you are not willing to negotiate your own outcome.
